STFU.

The results!

2008-05-18T01:45:51Z

Behind the cut are results from my Gross Facts quiz that I posted yesterday. If you haven't taken it yet and still wish to, I linked it below.

http://boxsofrain.livejournal.com/360343.html

WARNING: Don't look if you have a weak stomach. :) This may change the way you view certain foods!

Your vanilla ice cream can contain the same chemical compound that makes up poop

True. Feeding bacteria in your gut produces two stinky chemicals — indolay and skatole Now here's a gross fact. Skatole is used as food flavoring. Tiny amounts of the artificial form is used in vanilla ice-cream!

Yeast infections can be passed from toilet paper rolls in public bathrooms

False. I made this up. However there could be germs from poop on the roll from the previous user. Ordinary paper is made from tiny fibers woven together. The fibers in toilet paper are very loosely woven, leaving lots of holes. This makes the paper soft but it also soaks up water. Poop is 75 percent water so germs can easily hide in droplets that go through the paper onto your hands. The germs present in human poop can pass through up to 10 layers of toilet paper. We should wash our hands after going to the bathroom!

One in three women have hair around their nipples

False. Well they might, but I made this up.

1% of Caucasians can not contract HIV. They can sleep with an infected person, share needles, but will not get it.

True. I learned this in my immunology class in college.

The resistance of the rare individuals to HIV infection have now been explained by the discovery that they are homozygous for an allelic, non functional variant of CCR5 caused by a 32 base pair deletion from the coding region that leads to a frame shift and truncation of the translated protein. The gene frequency of this mutant allele is in Caucasoid populations is quite high at 0.9% (meaning that 10% of the Caucasoid population are heterozygous carriers of this allele and about 1% are homozygous.

In English, 10% of Caucasians have extra protection against contacting HIV and have a modest reduction of the rate of progression of the disease. 1% of Caucasian can not contract it. We have something called "macrophages" in our immune system from our bone marrow which are present in most tissues of the body. They have a crucial role in host defense. One macrophage called "CCR5" is what HIV binds to in entering a cell. The people who are protected or resistant to HIV have a different type of CCR5.

Your jar of peanut butter may contain up to 150 bug fragments and 5 public hairs

True to the bug fragments, and not just in peanut butter! One pound of peanut butter typically can contain up to 150 bug fragments and 5 rodent hairs (I accidentally wrote public hairs when I was typing the quiz. I wonder if it was a fraudslip).

From the FDA's Food Defect Action Level list.

Peanut Butter

The FDA's action level for peanut butter is 30 or more insect fragments or one or more rodent hairs per 100 grams.

Here is a very brief sampling of the FDA's Food Defect Action Level list. They begin investigation when foods reach the action level they've set. According to the FDA, typical foods contain about 10 percent of the action level, but others say they contain more like 40 percent.

CHOCOLATE AND CHOCOLATE LIQUOR

Insect filth: Average is 60 or more insect fragments per 100 grams when 6 100-gram subsamples are examined OR any 1 subsample contains 90 or more insect fragments

Rodent filth: Average is 1 or more rodent hairs per 100 grams in 6 100-gram subsamples examined OR any 1 subsample contains 3 or more rodent hairs

CITRUS FRUIT JUICES, CANNED

Insects and insect eggs: 5 or more Drosophila and other fly eggs per 250 ml or 1 or more maggots per 250 ml

RED FISH AND OCEAN PERCH

Parasites: 3% of the fillets examined contain 1 or more parasites accompanied by pus pockets

MACARONI AND NOODLE PRODUCTS

Insect filth: Average of 225 insect fragments or more per 225 grams in 6 or more subsamples

Rodent filth: Average of 4.5 rodent hairs or more per 225 grams in 6 or more subsamples

PEANUT BUTTER

Insect filth: Average of 30 or more insect fragments per 100 grams

Rodent filth: Average of 1 or more rodent hairs per 100 grams

POPCORN

Rodent filth: 1 or more rodent excreta pellets are found in 1 or more subsamples, and 1 or more rodent hairs are found in 2 or more other subsamples OR 2 or more rodent hairs per pound and rodent hair is found in 50% or more of the subsamples OR 20 or more gnawed grains per pound and rodent hair is found in 50% or more of the subsamples

WHEAT FLOUR

Insect filth: Average of 75 or more insect fragments per 50 grams

Rodent filth: Average of 1 or more rodent hairs per 50 grams

Can these things be avoided? To avoid all unsavory food components, it seems, would be to stop eating all together. And perhaps we're just being too squeamish. After all, as Dr. Manfred Kroger, a professor of food science at Pennsylvania State University, says, "Let's face it, much of our food comes from nature, and nature is not perfect."

Also:

Peanut butter contains alfatoxins. Aflatoxins are naturally occurring mycotoxins that are produced by many species of Aspergillus, a fungus, most notably Aspergillus flavus and Aspergillus parasiticus. Aflatoxin is considered a cancer-causing substance in humans and animals by both the FDA and world health authorities. Peanuts have an especially high naturally-occurring concentration of aspergillus flavus mold. Furthermore, while most peanuts are roasted, the roasting process rarely kills all the mold. The longer peanuts sit around in the store or in your house, the more of the mold will grow back--and again, it generally won't be visible to the naked eye. The longer the mold grows, the more aflatoxin builds up. Here's the most interesting thing about all this: usually your "organic" or "natural" peanut butters will have the highest aflatoxin concentration. The highest concentration of all, though, will typically be the stuff you buy in the store where they take peanuts and grind them into peanut butter for you while you wait.

Long story short: In this case, it is better to by non-organic peanut butter. The preservatives will kill most of it off. :)

There is a pretty good chance you ingested sperm from a whale today

False, hahahahaha.

There is a good chance if you put scotch tape in your anal area before you go to bed, when you take it out the next morning there will be worms on them.

Trueish. Almost all humans have Pin-worms in their colons. Most don't ever notice these tiny parasites unless they have an unusually high amount. You can find out if you have a high amount by having someone gently touch around your anal area with Scotch Tape while you sleep, this is when they are most active. The worms will stick to the tape and you should be able to see them

Eatting your snot can be good for you

True, but depends on who you ask. Your snot contained dried germs. When ingesting these, it causes your immune system to product antibodies against these germs. Next time you come across these germs, there is a chance you wont get sick because your immune system is already "pre-protected" from the snot. This works the same way an antibiotic does. However the problem with this is that your fingers are covered in lots of germs, which can negate this. You swallow about one quart of snot every day without even realizing.

Women fart double the amount of times then men do

False. Who knows, I made it up.

Licking your partners urine is more sanitary then a heavy make-out session

True. Fresh urine is more sterile than spit or the skin on your face because healthy pee is not home to bacteria.

On a daily average you will inhale 1 gallon of others anal gasses.

False. Don't worry, on a daily average you will inhale 1 liter (not one gallon) of others anal gasses. The amount of gas people pass varies from one cup to one half gallon a day. Most people fart 14 times a day.

Research has indicated that Taco-Bell has the least amount of cleanliness violations

True. Accorging to a date-line survey.

Dirty dining?
‘Dateline’ hidden cameras investigate cleanliness of America’s top 10 fast food chains

Fast food chains under scrutiny
'Dateline' hidden cameras investigate cleanliness of America's top fast food chains. NBC's Lea Thompson reports.

Fast food: It’s served fast and you eat it fast, maybe too fast to notice the restaurant is a little dirty. The fact is that no one has ever done a national survey looking at the cleanliness of fast food chains — until now. Recently, we took our Dateline cameras undercover for the first-ever investigation of whether America’s top 10 fast food chains are clean and safe. How did your favorite restaurant do?

We're a nation fueled by fast food: burgers and fries, tacos, fried chicken. It’s hot, tasty and easy. And with millions and millions of meals sold every day, most of us just assume it’s all clean and safe. But when it’s not, it can be devastating.

After eating at this McDonalds in Erwin, Tenn., last March, one hundred people became violently ill. Some ended up in the hospital, dehydrated and even hallucinating. The Centers for Disease Control says sick restaurant employees very likely contaminated food with a virus, although McDonald’s disputes that.
Story continues below ↓advertisement

Meanwhile, after eating at a KFC in Colorado, Gianni Velotta was infected with a dangerous salmonella bacteria. His mother says he almost died.

Natalie Velotta: “His kidneys weren’t working. I mean, there’s just no words to explain how bad it actually was.”

How do your favorite restaurants rate?

Was there any way to prevent it? Well, had Natalie Velotta checked, she’d have learned health inspectors had cited and fined that KFC just a few months earlier.

Velotta: “If I would have known that they had several health violations, I would not have eaten there.”

But who has time to check health inspection reports before they go to a fast food restaurant? Virtually no one, so Dateline decided to do it.

The biggest 10 chains have 75,000 restaurants. We couldn’t look at all of them, so we hired a survey company to choose a sample, 100 restaurants from each chain, 1,000 in all, spanning 38 states.

We then collected and examined local health inspection reports for the last year and a half on each of those 1,000 restaurants. Some were inspected just once, some more often during that period.

In a first of its kind national investigation, Dateline is going to use these health inspection reports to find out which fast food chains in our survey are the cleanest and the dirtiest. What we found may do more than surprise you. Some of the horror stories in Dateline’s dirty dining survey just might turn your stomach.

In a Chicago, in a Wendy’s, inspectors found dead rodent decomposing on a rat trap. At a California Taco Bell, someone bit into a taco, only to find chewing gum. An inspector in Texas found a worm in a Wendy’s salad. At a Hardee’s in Florida, a customer was handed a cup of soda with blood dripping from it. There was blood on her change as well.

The list goes on. A cockroach in someone’s soda, a sharp metal object in a man’s sandwich. But as disgusting as those things are, they are rare. Experts say the things you can’t see can be even more hazardous.

So what can be done about all this? Well, health inspectors tell us it’s not that easy to just close down a restaurant, and they say their power is limited when it comes to even imposing heavy fines. What they can do is cite restaurants for what is known as a hazardous or critical violation.

Caroline Smith-Dewaal is with the Center for Science in the Public Interest, a food safety watchdog group.

Smith-Dewaal: “A critical violation is something that happens in a restaurant that may result in the food becoming contaminated.”

Lea Thompson: “By definition, is a critical violation something that could make you sick?”

Smith-Dewaal: “Yes.”

Critical violations are a benchmark for judging a restaurant’s cleanliness. Most food regulations mandate they be corrected immediately, and they are the only type of violations we counted in our survey. They include things like handling ready-to-eat food with bare hands or unwashed hands, undercooked meat, improper food holding temperatures, sick employees preparing food, and a host of other potentially hazardous problems.

What may shock you is just how many restaurants had critical violations. More than sixty percent of all fast food restaurants in our sample had at least one critical violation in the last year and a half.

How many total violations did each chain have? Here comes Dateline’s dirty dining survey — it’s a top 10 list where no fast food restaurant wants to come in number one:

10: TACO BELL
The 100 Taco Bells we sampled had the fewest total critical violations, 91, making it the best performer in our survey. But it was not without problems. Recurring violations included dirty food preparation counters and rodent droppings.

9. MCDONALD’S
The golden arches, the 100 McDonald’s we looked at came in with a total of 136 critical violations. Some didn’t have a trained and certified food handler on the job, required by law in many states.

Thompson: “It’s that important?”

Smith-Dewaal: “Absolutely. We can’t have food prepared by people who don’t know that you can’t combine raw meat with cooked meat, with people who don’t understand the importance of proper temperatures in food preparation.”

8. KFC
The 100 KFCs we sampled tallied up 157 critical violations, and two thirds of the “finger lickin’ good” restaurants had at least one critical violation. Remember, it was at a KFC, the Health Department says, little Gianni Velotta picked up salmonella poisoning last year. We’ve now learned that another child was also sickened there, and the same restaurant has since been cited for three more critical violations.

While the Velotta’s have settled a lawsuit against the restaurant, a lawyer for the owner of the franchise contends the salmonella cases did not originate there.

7. SUBWAY
The 100 Subways we looked at totaled 160 critical violations. A recurring problem at the sandwich chain was improper food holding temperatures.

Thompson: “What does that mean?”

Smith-Dewaal: “That means that bacteria in the food that’s already cooked can start to grow, and it can reach levels that can cause serious illness for someone who consumes it.”

6. JACK IN THE BOX
The 100 Jack in the Box restaurants had a total of 164 critical violations. A Ventura, Calif., Jack in the Box was a trouble spot. It had several customer complaints of food borne illness.

5. DAIRY QUEEN
The 100 Dairy Queens we examined totaled 184 total critical violations. One Dairy Queen in Hampton, Va., rang up a number of critical violations last summer for grime, debris, and a inaccurate thermometer.

When Dateline went back recently to take a look, the restaurant invited us in, and showed it had fixed the problem.

4. HARDEES
The 100 Hardee’s tallied 206 critical violations. Again and again inspectors cited the presence of insects and rodents.

Smith-Dewaal: “Rodents and roaches are gross. But more importantly, they can also spread germs from food to food, and carry germs into a restaurant.”

Last May, one restaurant was cited for not having soap in the employee’s sink. Yet, inspectors found employees handling ready-to-eat food with their bare hands.

3. WENDY’S
100 Wendy’s had 206 critical violations. That’s the same as Hardees, but more Wendy’s restaurants had violations. So Wendy’s is number three in our Dateline dirty dining survey.

At a Wendy’s in Mesa, Ariz., inspectors noted repeated problems with food holding temperatures, mice droppings on the shelves, bare hand food contact, and one food borne illness complaint.

2. ARBY’S
The 100 Arby’s had 210 critical violations. The roast beef specialists had recurring violations for improper hand-washing and employees handling ready-to-eat foods with their bare hands.

Smith-Dewaal: And clearly, if the person isn’t washing their hands or using other sanitation practices, they can really make people very sick.

1. BURGER KING
So which fast food chain finished number one on Dateline’s dirty dining list? It’s Burger King. The 100 Burger Kings we sampled rang up a whopping 241 total critical violations. Health inspectors cited a Virginia Burger King for 14 separate critical violations: employees not washing their hands, uncovered food in the fridge, grime and debris found on this ice chute, and on the drink machine at the drive-thru widow. We observed one employee scooping ice into a cup with his bare hands, an apparent critical violation.

SO WHAT’S THE BIG PICTURE?
The 1,000 restaurants we sampled totaled 1,755 critical violations, and 613 restaurants were cited at least once. That’s more than 60 percent with problems inspectors consider potentially hazardous to your health.

Still, in an industry where millions of meals are served...

Thompson: “Is it unrealistic to expect a fast food restaurant to come up with a clean bill of health every single time an inspector walks in the door.”

Smith-Dewaal: “The government inspector is the last checkpoint. The restaurant itself should be doing inspections and checking for critical violations every day. They shouldn’t wait for a government inspector to tell them they’re doing it wrong.”

Steve Grover of the National Restaurant Association represents fast food restaurants. He’s a former health inspector himself.

Thompson: “Does Dateline’s survey concern you?”

Steve Grover: “It concerns me. I do not find critical violations acceptable.”

Thompson: “Why are they there in the first place?”

Grover: “Because no one’s perfect. I tell the executives every day, 99.9 percent is not good enough, when it comes to food safety.”

Thompson: “What about 60 percent?”

Grover: “Sixty percent is not good enough when it comes to food safety.”

Grover argues as long as critical violations are being corrected promptly, then the system is working. Inspectors are doing their job, and the restaurants are following the advice of the inspectors as they come through.

Most fast food restaurants are owned by individuals, but most chains say they inspect every restaurant that has their name on it.

In a letter to Dateline, Burger King says it is “Extremely disappointed” by (the) findings... We want to assure our guests we will quickly investigate... and take immediate and appropriate actions...” The president of Wendy’s writes, “one critical violation on a health inspection report is one too many.” And Hardees says, “We must always do better. Any critical deficiency is unacceptable - which is why we address them immediately.” McDonald’s says “No one cares more about operating clean, safe restaurants than McDonald’s.”

All are unanimous in agreeing with KFC that “Food safety is our number one priority.” The Velottas, whose little boy became almost died, hope that’s true.

Velotta: “Every single time I go to a fast food restaurant, there’s that doubt in the back of my mind that they could get sick. Every single time.”

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/3473728/

Diarrhea induced E.Coli was found on 10% of coffee mugsin the US

True

House flies go to the bathroom roughly every 4.5 minutes.

True

In jello one of the ingredients is processed animal testicles

False, I think. Gelatin is a protein produced by partial hydrolysis of collagen extracted from the bones, connective tissues, organs, and some intestines of animals such as the domesticated cattle, and horses. I am not sure if testicles qualifies.

Game time: Gross Facts

2008-05-17T03:22:36Z

Lets play a game

Below are 15 gross statements. Some of these statements are true, some I completely made up. Can you guess the truth? Answers will be posted tomorrow.

Disclaimer before you click: Gross content is behind the cut. Please understand that by clicking the cut you therefore agree you will not be angry at boxsofrain for ruining your dinner.

View Poll: Gross Facts

Edit: I answered false to every question so I can easily view the results. Too many links to click otherwise. I am lazy. So ignore my answers if you view what people think.

GROSS.

2008-03-19T01:08:09Z

Eat At Your Own Risk
By Mens'Health

Sure, a turkey burger sounds healthy. But is it, really? Not if you order the Bella from Ruby Tuesday, which packs a whopping 1,145 calories. (And yes, that's before a side of fries.)

To further enlighten you on the prevalence of preposterous portions, we spent months analyzing menus, nutrition labels, and ingredient lists to identify the food industry's worst offenders. Our primary criterion? Sheer caloric impact. After all, it's the top cause of weight gain and the health problems that accompany it. (As you read, keep in mind that 2,500 calories a day is a reasonable intake for the average guy.) We also factored in other key nutritional data, such as excessive carbohydrates and fat, added sugars, trans fats, and sodium. The result is our first annual list of the worst foods in America.

Image credit: Getty Images

Your dinner can have more fat present in Mary Kate and Ashey Olsen's bodies combined!!

20. Chicken Selects Premium Breast Strips from McDonald's

(5 pieces) with creamy ranch sauce
830 calories
55 g fat (4.5 g trans fat)
48 g carbohydrates

The only thing "premium" about these strips is the caloric price you pay.Add a large fries and regular soda and this seemingly innocuous chicken meal tops out at 1,710 calories.

Change Your Chicken: 20 McNuggets have the same impact. Instead, choose Mickey D's six-piece offering with BBQ sauce and save yourself 530 calories.

19. Jamba Juice Chocolate Moo'd Power Smoothie (30 fl oz)

900 calories
10 g fat
183 g carbs (166 g sugar)

Jamba Juice calls it a smoothie; we call it a milk shake. In fact, this beverage contains as much sugar as 2 pints of Ben& Jerry's butter pecan ice cream.

Turn Down the Power: Seventy-five percent of this chain's "power smoothies" contain in excess of 100 grams of sugar. Stick to Jamba's lower-calorie All Fruit Smoothies, which are the only menu items that containno added sugar. And always opt for the 16-ounce "small."

18. Pepperidge Farm Roasted Chicken Pot Pie (whole pie)

1,020 calories
64 g fat
86 g carbs

The label may say this pie serves two, but who ever divided a small pot pie in half? The sad truth is, once you crack the crust, there will be no stopping--which makes this 300 calories worse than anything else you'll find in the freezer case.

Pick a Better Pie: Swanson's chicken pot pie has just 400 calories.

17. Ruby Tuesday Bella Turkey Burger

1,145 calories
71 g fat
56 g carbs

We chose this burger for more than its calorie payload: Its name implies that it's healthy.

The Truly Healthy Choice: Skip burgers entirely (few atRuby Tuesday come in under 1,000 calories). Instead, order a 9-ounce sirloin (just 256 calories) with a side of steamed vegetables.

Image credit: Getty Images

15. Macaroni Grill Double Macaroni 'n' Cheese

1,210 calories
62 g fat
3,450 mg sodium

It's like feeding your kid 1 1/2 boxes of Kraft mac 'n' cheese.

Your Best Option: The 390-calorie Grilled Chicken and Broccoli.

14. Quiznos Classic Italian (large)

1,528 calories
92 g fat
4,604 mg sodium
110 g carbs

A large homemade sandwich would more likely provide about 500 calories.

Cut the Calories: Isn't it obvious? Order a small--or save half for later.

13. On the Border Grande Taco Salad with Taco Beef

1,450 calories
102 g fat
78 g carbs
2,410 mg sodium

This isn't an anomaly: Five different On the Border salads on the menu contain more than 1,100 calories each.

The Salad for You: The Sizzling Chicken Fajita Salad supplies an acceptable 760 calories. But remember to choose a noncaloric beverage, such as water or unsweetened iced tea.

12. Carl's Jr. Double Six Dollar Burger

1,520 calories
111 g fat

Carl's Jr. brags that it's home to this enormous sandwich, but the restaurant chain also provides convenient nutrition info on its Web site -- so ignorance is no excuse for eating it.

A Simple Solution: The Low Carb Six Dollar Burger has just 490 calories.

11. Lonestar 20 oz T-bone

1,540 calories
124 g fat

Add a baked potato and Lonestar's Signature Lettuce Wedge, and this is a 2,700-calorie blowout.

Choose with Your Head: The golden rule of steak restaurants is this: Limit yourself to a 9-ouncer or smaller. After all, that's more than half a pound of meat. You won't walk away hungry.

10. Bob Evans Caramel Banana Pecan Cream Stacked and Stuffed Hotcakes

1,540 calories
77 g fat (9 g trans fat)
198 g carbs (109 g sugar)

Five Egg McMuffins yield the same caloric cost as this stack of sugar-stuffed flapjacks, which is truly a heavy breakfast, weighing in at a hefty pound and a half.

Order This Instead: A Bob EvansWestern Omelet starts your day with a reasonable 654 calories and 44 grams of muscle-building protein.

9. Chili's Chocolate Chip Paradise Pie with Vanilla Ice Cream

1,600 calories
78 g fat
215 g carbs

Would you eat a Big Mac for dessert? How about three? That's the calorie equivalent of this decadent dish. Clearly, Chili'scustomers get their money's worth.

Don't Overdo It: If you want dessert at Chili's, order one single-serving Sweet Shot; you'll cap your after-dinner intake at 310 calories.

8. P.F. Chang's Pork Lo Mein

1,820 calories
127 g fat
95 g carbs

The fat content in this dish alone provides more than 1,100 calories. And you'd have to eat almost five servings of pasta to match the number of carbohydrates itcontains. Now, do you really need five servings of pasta?

Pick Another Noodle: P.F. Chang's Singapore Street Noodles will satisfy your craving with only 570 calories. Or try the Moo Goo Gai Pan or the Ginger Chicken & Broccoli, which have 660 calories each.

7. Chili's Honey Chipotle Crispers with Chipotle Sauce

2,040 calories
99 g fat
240 g carbs

"Crispers" refers to an extra-thick layer of bread crumbs that soaks up oil and adds unnecessary calories and carbs to these glorified chicken strips.

Switch Your Selection: Order the Chicken Fajita Pita: At 450 calories and 43 grams of protein, it's one of the healthiest entrées you'll find in a chain restaurant.

6. On the Border Dos XX Fish Tacos with Rice and Beans

2,100 calories
130 g fat
169 g carbs
4,750 mg sodium

Perhaps the most misleadingly named dish in America: A dozen crunchy tacos from Taco Bell will saddle you withfewer calories.

Lighten the Load: Ask for grilled fish, choose the corn tortillas instead of flour (they're lower in calories and higher in fiber), and swap out the carbohydrate-loaded rice for grilled vegetables.

Image credit: Getty Images

5. Uno Chicago Grill Chicago Classic Deep Dish Pizza

2,310 calories
162 g fat
123 g carbs
4,470 mg sodium

Downing this "personal" pizza is equivalent to eating 18 slices of Domino's Crunchy Thin Crust cheese pizza.

Swap Your Slices: Switch to the Sausage Flatbread Pie and avert deep-dish disaster by nearly 1,500 calories.

4. Macaroni Grill Spaghetti and Meatballs with Meat Sauce

2,430 calories
128 g fat
207 g carbs
5,290 mg sodium

This meal satisfies your calorie requirements for an entire day.

Downsize the Devastation: Ask for alunch portion of this dinner dish (or any pasta on the menu, for that matter), and request regular tomato sauce instead of meat sauce. You'll cut the calories in half.

3. On the Border Stacked Border Nachos

2,740 calories
166 g fat
191 g carbs
5,280 mg sodium

2. Chili's Awesome Blossom

2,710 calories
203 g fat
194 g carbs
6,360 mg sodium

Image credit: Jupiter Images

1. Outback Steakhouse Aussie Cheese Fries with Ranch Dressing

2,900 calories
182 g fat
240 g carbs

Even if you split these "starters" with three friends, you'll have downed a dinner's worth of calories before your entrée arrives.

Super Substitutions Front-load your meal with a protein-based dish that's not deep-fried. A high-protein starter helps diminish hunger without putting you into calorie overload. And remember: Appetizers are meant to be shared.

Lost

2008-02-18T03:02:34Z

In my opinion, this is so far the best theory of whats going on in Lost.

It explains everything:

http://www.timelooptheory.com/the_timeline.htm

Anonymous

2008-02-17T19:10:39Z

It is a boring Sunday.

Tell me a secret about anything. Make a confession. Ask an opinion.

Comment anonymously. IP logging is off.

So tell me..

2008-01-22T00:33:52Z

What is wrong with this picture?

I think you have to be pretty observant to figure this one out. I couldn't get it, and when I was told the answer I still couldn't get it! Now I get it though. Okay, so impress me. Comments are screened so nobody gets spoiled.

Please note, I will eventually un-screen the comments so please do not tell me a a secret wish or desire that you only want me to know because the public will see it!

Oh, also my aunt had to email me something about my mom. I think I am going delirious because when I got the new mail notification, I started laughing hard cause of the subject. Can someone please admit to me that they think it is funny too so I don't think I am a freak?

Thanks. :)

Dachshund day

2008-01-20T22:48:15Z

I got together today with a few of the girls who all had dachshunds. The dogs had a ball.

Sherlock was not impressed with his angel wings.

Meet Woogie, Fritize and Tucker. For anyone new, Sherlock is mine, he is the one of the white polka dots.

This one was a total accident. They were posing but Woogie decided to rape Sherlock as the picture snapped.

I think the playing is so cute in the background here.

Tucker is getting sleepy!

I'll stand for a treat!

What did you say about my momma?

Pwned!

Very very sleepy

Tucker wouldn't come down from the top of the couch after him and Sherlock got into a nasty fight.

The WORST smells ever

2007-11-23T17:09:01Z

The WORST smells ever

I was blessed with a very strong sense of smell. Behind the cut are smells that make me want to puke.

1. DKNY for women perfume

DKNY was created by Donna Karan in 2000 and is recommended for daytime wear. Notes of orquideas, narcissus, orange, tomato leaf, daffodills and white birch.

They forgot to add cat piss and rotten tomato's to the scent description. The smell is putrid and unfortunately I was VERY sensitive to the smell. I remember being in a shopping mall and a woman was wearing it in the store. I could not go into the store. There was a point when my mom and sister both wore it. I could not be in the same vicinity as them. My sister thought it was funny. It is true "Ashlee-repellent".

2. Yankee Candle Orange Cupcake

Its discontinued. Thank goodness. This was part of the Yankee Candle Country Kitchen line. For those of you who havent known me for too long, I worked at Yankee Candle all throughout college. We all know how that store stinks. But this candle stunk so bad I could not go in that section of the store because the slightest hint of that scent made me want to puke.

3. Dog butt fluid.

Sorry if I made you loose your breakfast. Some dogs (which is common in dachshunds) get a buildup of fluid in their butt. It makes them uncomfortable and you have to take them to Vet occasionally to get it popped. Well somtimes Sherlock will do this himself. All over the carpet itself. This smell is unlike anything I could ever describe.

4. The Bathroom Stall after this one particular lady from work uses it.

I think she eats the weight-loss pill Alli for lunch. If I use the bathroom, I will know if she was there in the past hour. Gross.

5. Scrambled Eggs.

I hate scrambled eggs, but it isn't necessarily the eggs which gross me out. It is the smell of the pan. One of my college roomates would make scrambled eggs all the time but never wash the pan. It would make me throw up in my mouth a little.

6. Pre-Makeup before any masking agents or fragrance is added

When I was in microbiology someone submitted this to me to test. It smelled like old rotten grapefruits and I should have wore a surgeons mask when handling.

7. Victora Secret "Amber Romance" fragrance or anything Amber in general

Wear this and I will stay the hell away from you. In my opinion, the smell of Amber is just WRONG.

Free free to add to the list! I am very curious.

More of the Eiffel tower business

2007-11-14T00:18:16Z

In my last entry I mentioned the "Eiffel tower". No, I was not referring to the iron tower built on the Champ de Mars beside the River Seine in Paris. I am talking about the sex phrase.

Some people asked, what is the Eiffel tower? I played around on Urban Dictionary being the good LJ friend that I am (haha) and found lots of funny stuff.

Lets play a game! How many of these terms can you define? MUHAHAHA

Eiffel tower
Golden Gate Bridge
Angry dragon
Blumpkin
Strawberry Shortcake
Tony Danza
Alligator Fuckhouse
Hot Lips Houlahan
Microwave a Melon
Rusty trombone
Abe Lincoln
Angry pirate
Dirty Sanchez
Birmingham booty call
Alaskan snow dragon
Child seat
Ride the Bull
Pink sock

Eiffel tower

A threesome with two guys and a girl, where one guy is hitting it from behind, and the other guy is getting a blow job. The guys are high-fiving over the girl to make the eiffel tower shape.

Hey Matt, remember when we Eiffel towered Ruth?

Golden Gate Bridge

A glorious variant on the famed Eiffel Tower, it is a sexual act in which two girls are down on all fours, or doggy style if you prefer, and each has an end of a double-sided dildo inserted in each of their vaginas. Simultaneously, each of the girls is performing felatio on a man. The two touch hands over the girls' backs to complete the bridge.

Julia and Malen had sore vaginas and marshmallow mouth the day after forming the Golden Gate Bridge with the two homeless gentlemen they entertained last night.

Angry dragon

Immediately after you blow your load in a girl's mouth, smack the back of her head and make it come out her nose. When she gets up she'll look like an angry dragon.

I gave your mom an angry dragon last night!

Blumpkin

The delicately balanced art of getting your cock sucked while taking a dump.
Morty made frequent trips to the office restroom, but never when the janitor who calls Costa Rica is there, because that janitor like to give Blumpkins.

Strawberry Shortcake

The action in which the male ejaculates on his partner's face, and then the male punches his partner's nose, which causes blood to stream forth. The semen and blood fluids create a red and white image, just like the icing and filling of a strawberry shortcake.

I just gave my girlfriend a strawberry shortcake.

Tony Danza

When you are giving it to a chick from behind, you yell out "Who's the boss?" She'll get confused, turn her head around, at this moment, you donkey punch her in the face and then scream TONY DANZA!!!

Oh man, I totally pwned Jeff's girlfriend last week when I gave her a Tony Danza.

Alligator Fuckhouse

A daring sexual maneuver: Mid-coitus, one person bites the neck of the other, locks their arms and legs down and goes into a deathroll, all while maintaining insertion. Like downshifting a car!

Sally: "Last night Johnny surprised me with an Alligator Fuckhouse, and I came for an hour and a half! I think the bite might have left a scar though..."

Hot Lips Houlahan

Before you have sex with a woman, put tabasco sauce on the OUTSIDE of the condom, her pussy lips will be on fire in no time. If you want to cool the burn, pull out and hose it down. (this may also work for BJs.)

My woman is always bragging that she enjoys spicy foods, but she couldn't handle the Hot Lips Houlahan.

Microwave a Melon

To put a melon in a microwave long enough to warm it in and out. Then cut a hole in it and proceed to have sex with it. (only for the MOST desperate of people).

I think i will microwave a melon and have sex with it.

Rusty trombone

The act of performing anal cunnilingus while reaching up above the testicles to manually administer quick up and down motions to the penile shaft; resulting in a violent yet pleasant explosion. It is then customary for the female to then give a quick blow into the anus for good luck, the lips blowing into the anus sounds very similar to a trombones sweet melody. This was introduced to the Americas in the late 50's.

While receiving a rusty trombone I lost control of my bowels.

Abe Lincoln
When you shave your pubes and blow a load on your girfriend/boyfriends face after getting head and trowing them on the face.

Doug gave Austin an Abe Lincoln

Angry pirate

When a woman is giving a man head, he pulls out, and nuts in her eye. Upon doing this, she will let out some sort of grunt of disapproval, and at this point he kicks her in the shin. This poor girl, being pissed and hurt, will hobble after your laughing ass.

dude,i gave your sister an angry pirate, and thats why she's limping a little...(don't ask why she's walking like she has a stick up her ass... thats a whole different story dude.)

Dirty Sanchez

When a man and a woman engage in anal sex, then the man takes his penis and rubs it on the girls upper lip leaving a moustache.

After having anal sex, the man gave the woman a dirty sanchez.

Birmingham booty call
Put your woman's cell phone on vibrate, stick it up her ass, and as you are having sex, call her phone, have her shit it out, answer it, and talk dirty to you as you cum on her face.

I met this freak bitch in Alabama, and she intoduced me to the Birmingham booty call.

Alaskan snow dragon
An advanced sexual prank in nature. The alaskan snow dragon is when a male ejaculates in the females mouth, clamps her jaw shut with his hands, at the same time informing her he has an std (any one will do) she will immediately release the semen through her nostrals.... Now you have made her perform the alaskan snow dragon!

Susie was such a slut i just had to give her th alaskan snow dragon.

Child seat

The child seat is a sexual position performed between two men. It occurs when the men position themselves opposite each other; one lies on his stomach, and the other lies on his back, with their legs overlapping. The two men then bend their penii far enough to insert it in their partner's ass. They then move back and forth until orgasm, much like two women using a double ended dildo.

"Dude, you wanna do the child seat?"
"Nah, man. My ass is still pretty raw from last night."
"...Give me a rusty trombone, then."
"Ok"

Ride the Bull
To have doggy sex with a woman and have people in yor closet with cameras jump out. Your partner will then attempt to get away. The point of riding the bull is to see how long you can keep your dick in her. But beware, she may make an awkward turn and could bend your dick.

I will ride the bull tonight in an attempt to smash my record of 30 seconds

Pink sock

This is the result of excessive anal plundering; the intestines actually exit through the anus, forming a dangling mass, resembling a pink sock.

When I left prison, I had a pink sock the size of Texas.

Feel free to name some more if you know any! :)

PSA

2007-11-09T03:42:49Z

Public Service Announcement to Women: Leggings should not be substituted for pants. If you choose to wear leggings, please wear a top that is slightly longer then usual. I am sure you have very nice genitals, however I do not feel like looking at the shape of them all day.

I WISH

2007-10-03T22:49:53Z

Acid wash skirt, vintage from the 80's. Perfect to wear when I don't feel like wearing my tapered "mom" jeans.

White fur boots. Because there is nothing sexier then walking with dead animals on my feet.

Might as well get the matching rug to go with it

The 7.5 inch heal clear heals with roses in them. I want to seduce people in them. Plus if I wear them I would be 5'7 and a half and make Tyra Banks proud.

Red uterus shaped earrings. HOT.

I know what boys like.

I am going to wear this to the bar and PARTAY.

Cute for the summer!!

I really like this but I think if I wear this to work they might send me home

MUST HAVE THIS MAILBOX.

This would go with the acid-wash skirt!

Might have to wear a thicker sweater with this one. :(

Pope on a rope soap. Can I use him.....down there? Pls advise.

Annoying people.

2007-08-08T00:00:17Z

People who annoy me.

1. People who can not pronounce their "L's properly. You could have the biggest lisp in the world. You could sound like Cindy Brady on helium. I will probably think it is cute. But if you pronnounce your "L's funny I will want to cover my ears and run away.

2. People who put on so much cheap and smelly sunless tanner. Yes you look great, but you fucking stink. Please switch brands ASAP to something that masks the awful smell of dihydroxyacetone.

3. Girls who constantly use the word "need" for things they really don't need. "Such as OMG I need a pair Jimmy Choos!" Or can someone please upload this CD for me I need it so bad!" No, you need water. You don't need Jimmy Choos.

4. Anyone who eats peanut butter, then get really close to me and talk.

5. When someone does not know me at ALL and comes up to me and asks me why I look so nervous. I get that a lot.

6. The lady who wore tight white spandex and scratched her ass in front of me on line. Lets just say she doesn't have good hygiene.

7. Courtney Love. She got to fuck Billy Corgan multiple times.

8. The hisidic jew in front of me who not only stole 10 pairs of scissors and 10 glue stinks on the self checkout line, but stole my pizza bagels from my cart. Whore.

9. People who are so religious that they make me feel uncomfortable. You know, the ones who lecture me on how everything I do is wrong but Jesus can save me. Those who flat out tell me that all Jews will go to hell because they don't accept Jesus as their savior. Those who sing gospel songs all day, flaunt their virginity, and live by the motto "It's good to share when God does good in everyday life".

10. Those who are not kind to animals.

What kinds of people annoy you?

My top 10 favorite beauty products.

2007-06-28T01:53:47Z

Too Faced: Liquif-Eye Shadow Collection

A palette of 12 ultra-intense, magnificent metallic and smoldering smoky shadows, plus Too Faced's eyeshadow transformer, Liquif-Eye.
What it does:
The depth of color saturation in each of these shadows has been doubled to offer maximum color and shimmer. Each shade can be worn alone or in combination to create numerous eye-catching effects, or in combination with Liquif-Eye to transform any shade into a stay-put
liquid liner.

It is a pretty eyeshadow palette which also comes with a pen. You can dip the pen in one of the eyeshadows and turn it into an eyeliner. Now I suck at liquid eyeliner, but I can do this. I like to line my eyes with the baby blue shade in it.

Wet 2 Style Ceramic Straightener

This ceramic styler dries and straightens your hair in 1-step. Dryer also emits negative ions to help smooth, shine and moisturize hair. Model features 30 heat settings, instant heat, LCD display, ready indicator, auto shut-off, closing lock, swivel cord, dual voltage, and a 2 year full warranty.

It is seriously the best hair straightener I have ever used.

Maybelline Dream Matte Mousse Foundation

Whipped formula provides an air-soft, perfect matte finish coverage, with a weightless feel.
I love this stuff. It covers all my pimples and evens out my skin tone.

AVON NATURALS Banana & Coconut Milk Body Lotion

For the people on my friends list who are grossed out by bananas, please skip this one. I think this lotion is perfect for the summer. The scent reminds me of going to the beach.

Wet n' Wild Glassy Gloss® Lip Gel

Many girls rave aboutMac Lip Glass, but I feel like this brand is just as good. glistening lip gel with intense shine and luminous color all with an easy squeezy applicator! Skate through the year with this long-lasting lip gloss gel and enjoy a glassy see-through shine with color to spare.

Yes this is wet n wild, the brand you find on the discount shelf at CVS. I LOVE it. It makes your lips look super wet and glassy. I like the shades either reflection or candy glaze. In my opinion that is sexy as hell. Just one downfall? The mac lipglass and the wet n wild brand are kinda sticky.

Biosilk Silk Therapy Treatment

Silk Therapy is ideal lightweight replenishing treatment to protect and maintain hair and skin in optimum condition. Concentrated silk, fortified with botanicals and Vitamin E impart a smooth and silky feel while providing a brilliant high gloss shine. Will not build up or
weigh hair down. Sunscreens safeguard hair from possible UV damage.

My favorite part? It smells soooooooooo good.

mark. I-Mark Custom Pick Eye Shadow-

Mix and match classic shades of this long-wearing powder to create your own customized color palette. Super-fine powder goes on smooth and lasts for hours. Whether you want to shade, define, or shadow, any look can be yours. Sold in a single-pan format, it can easily be removed and popped into one of the Snap To It Custom Color Palette Cases, interchangeable with mood or moment.

My favorite shade is called "Heavenly" Whenever I wear that color I get compliments.

Bath and Body works body lotion.

Not only do I use it to moisturize, but I also use it to curl my hair. When my hair is wet I comb it out and part it the way I want. Then I put some of the lotion in my hairs and use it to scrunch my hair into curls. I scrunch for about 2 or 3 minutes, then spray with some gel. Its good to go! Not only are the curls soft, but they also smell good. :) My favorite scents are Black Rasberry and Vanilla, Warm Vanilla Sugar, and Sun Rippened Rasberry.

Glow Baby Glow Luxe Hook Up Lip Gloss

Super-reflective, micromirror, pearlized particles capture and reflect light from every angle to give lips a luxe, glam finish. Unique brush applicator.

The reason why I love it is because it makes your lips shiny without being sticky. It has a hint of color. I had overpowering lipstick.

J Lo Love At First Glow

A scent inspired by the magic moment, when innocent sensuality and youthful exuberance meet. Jennifer Lopez has put her first 'love' potion in a bottle… Sweet. Sexy. Instinctive. Top notes of Italian Bergamot, Neroli de Provence and Georgia Peach. Heart notes of Delicate Osmanthus, Pink Jasmine, Wild Rose and Fluid Freesia. Base notes of Blond Woods, Sheer Musk and Vanilla Absolute. The flacon has the same sensual curves as the original J Lo Glow bottle, but with a new glossy look, and features Jennifer's favourite color pink for a sweet and sexy glow!

So now, tell me some of yours. :)

Fears.

2007-06-16T01:50:12Z

I have two very weird fears.

1. I am afraid to drink water in an open glass. I am paranoid that dust will gather at the top and I will drink the dust.

2. I am afraid of ticking clocks. I didn't realize this until yesterday. I went to the Woodbury Commons with friends and we went into the Seiko outlit. The thought of being surrounded by ticking clocks nearly gave me a stoke.

What are some of your weird and un-logical fears?

Yuck food.

2007-05-16T01:14:32Z

I cant eat the following or else I will puke:

1. Melons (nor anything within 1 foot of a melon)
2. Sweet potatoes
3. Eggplant
4. Swiss cheese
5. Olives

Whar food makes you sick? Give me something good, something that people think you are crazy for not liking.

DOCTORS TIME!

2007-05-11T22:49:37Z

OMG I AM A DOCTOR.

Comment w/ all your medical problems and I will give you advice 4 free!!@2

Post anonymously if you don't want anyone to know who you are. lolz Tell me secrets, trust me im at docotr@!@

Read set GOOOOOOOOOO

IF YOU WANT TO ANSWER PEOPLES QUESTIONS PLEASE POST YOUR CREDENTIALS!!! TOO MANY FAKES

This post is for entertainment purposes only. I am not really a doctor. If you have a real medical question please don't post here.

The catskills.

2007-05-06T00:40:09Z

I went to a Cinco de Mayo BBQ at my friend Dani's house. I pretty much ignored my diet because I ate a cheesburger and brownies. But I have been having a brownie fetish for the past week so of course I had to On the way home I felt like taking some pictures of the catskill mountains I live in.

I had to throw in a picture of my truck because I love it.

My own mix

2007-04-24T01:03:52Z

I really havent had anything of substance to say lately. Unless you are interested in hearing how I thought that the cold air was pumping out of the vent to the theme song of LOST, how I stayed up all night listening to an infomercial to make your penis bigger (they wouldn't say the word penis, they used phrases such as "that certain area"), or how I produced an excessive amount of snot today, I decided to spare you.

sing_dream_love asked recently for some song recommendations, so I got the idea to make a CD of the 15 songs I am completely digging this moment. Its also free for you to download (oh how exciting) right behind the cut.

Tracklisting:
1. Tricky- Hell is Around the Corner
2. The Verve- The Drugs Don't Work
3. Dave Matthews Band- Rapunzel
4. Jack Johnson- Banana Pancakes
5. Lily Allen- Smile
6. No Doubt-Sunday Morning
7. Yeah yeah yeah's- Maps
8. Jack Johnson- Sitting Waiting Wishing
9. Nelly Furtado- Say it Right
10.Dido- Here With Me
11. Apollo 440- Can't Stop the Rock
12. Snow Patrol- You Could be Happy
13. Tricky- She Makes Me Want to Die
14. Radiohead- Talk Show Host
15. Oasis- Wonderwall

1. Tricky- Hell is Around the Corner
"We're hungry, beware of our appetite.
Distant drums bring the news of a kill tonight.
The kill which I share with my passengers.
We take our fill, take our fill, take a feel."

A trip-hop song with a great melody and sexy voice. The lyrics are full of internal rhymes and aliteration.
2. The Verve- The Drugs Don't Work

I like this song because it gives me a different perspective on death. I know thats a really dark and emo description, but I am just being honest!

3. Dave Matthews Band- Rapunzel
Blood through my veins for you
You alone have all of me
From you my strength is full
To carry your burdens too
I give my world to you

This song expresses lust perfectly to me, but without being vulgar. Thats what I love about DMB, they make sex poetic. Almost every song sounds magical to me.

4. Jack Johnson- Banana Pancakes
"When the whole world fits inside of your arms
Do we really need to pay attention to the alarm"

This song reminds me not to rush through things so much. It is innocent and fun coming from a super sexy guy.

5. Lily Allen- Smile
At first when I see you cry
Yeah, it makes me smile.
Yeah, it makes me smile.
At worst I feel bad for awhile
But then I just smile.
I go ahead and smile.

We all know by now how much I love Lily Allen. This is my favorite song by her. It is upbeat and expresses how she moved on.

6. No Doubt-Sunday Morning
I want to stand on the front lawn of every person -cough- who hurt me and belt this one out as loud as I can right to them.

7. Yeah yeah yeah's- Maps
Made off
Don't stray
My kind's your kind
I'll stay the same

This is my most favorite song EVER. I love it so much I want to cry each time I hear it.

8. Jack Johnson- Sitting Waiting Wishing
I was sitting, waiting, wishing
You believed in superstitions
Then maybe you would see the signs
But lord knows that this world is cruel
And I ain’t the lord no I’m just a fool
Learning loving somebody
Don’t make them love you
Must I always be waiting, waiting on you?
Must I always be playing, playing your fool
I could name a few people I want to sing this song to and mean every damn word of it.

9. Nelly Furtado- Say it Right
I picked a song from the Top 40, so sue me. At least I didn't pick an Akon song because then I should jump out the window. It is just so catchy. You probably dont even have to download it, just turn on the hit music radio station.

10.Dido- Here With Me
I won't leave, I can't hide, I cannot be, until you're resting here with me
I don't want to call my friends, they might wake me from this dream
And I can't leave this bed, risk forgetting all that's been

The theme song from Roswell, must I say more? Okay, I will. The song is very romantic and it describes how badly one might need someone.

11.Apollo 440- Can't Stop the Rock
This is on my playlist each time when I work out. I like to save it for the point of my run when I get the urge to throw my sneaker at the mailbox. This song pumps me up, yo. Well so does Justin Timberlakes "Rock your body" but I really didn't want to put that on my CD.

12. Snow Patrol- You Could be Happy
You could be happy, I hope you are
You made me happier than I'd been by far

Somehow everything I own smells of you
And for the tiniest moment it's all not true

Do the things that you always wanted to
Without me there to hold you back, don't think, just do

Haunting melody, even more haunting lyrics. It is bittersweet and creepy, but I love it.

13. Tricky- She Makes Me Want to Die
Walking on the moon
How could you dare?
Who do you think you are?
You're insignificant
A small piece, an ism
No more no less
You try to learn the universe
Can't even converse in uni-verse

Creepy, and powerful. Tricky actually wrote this song. The chick in Tricky sings it while Tricky whispers in her ear. But I have felt this way about a girl before. Maybe we all have.

14. Radiohead- Talk Show Host
I want to
I want to be someone else or I'll explode
Floating upon this surface for the birds
The birds
The birds

You want me?
Fucking, well come and find me
I'll be waiting
With a gun and a pack of sandwiches

This song belongs on the top of the "songs to fuck to" playlist. I love Radiohead but this is my favorite song.

15. Oasis- Wonderwall
I don't believe that anybody feels the way I do about you now
And all the roads we have to walk are winding
And all the lights that lead us there are blinding
There are many things that I would like to say to you
But I don't know how
Because maybe
You're gonna be the one that saves me
And after all
You're my wonderwall

This is one of my favorite songs ever. Why? That calls for a friends only post. ;)

I hope you enjoy. If you like what I am doing let me know, I can make another one every few months or so. Copying this post is okay, and very much encouraged. I would love to have a mix that means something to a particular LJ friend.

Also feel free to let me know of a song that you love, and that means something to you.

Eyebrow sperm.

2007-04-18T01:27:41Z

I am not referring to anyone on my friends list.

But it really bothers me when people pluck their eyebrows in the shape of a sperm. Part of me can't get the sperm thought out of my head when I see it, and the other part of me wants to say "Excuse me, but you missed a patch".

Starbucks

2007-04-08T00:40:00Z

Happy belated birthday to my brother phetuspolice

I really suck at coffee and realized today that a lot that comes out of my mouth is a cacophonous verbal depravity.

The only thing I really know about coffee is that if I don't drink any I get a headache. I also don't put milk in it, I think that is gross. I spent the day in NJ today, and on the way home I realize that I was in some desperate need for caffeine, quick. Right after I realized that I saw a starbucks.

Today I learned that I am a bad person because I don't know what a macchiato, dolce, venti, chai, americano or a latte is. I usually get my coffee for free at a "coffee bar" at work. That consists of super cheap coffee that comes out of pipes like water from a water fountain.

The menu was printed in foreign coffee language. I wanted to take a risk and order an "Ethiopia Sidamo" But then I realized I was taking a chance by parting with more money then I wanted to, for something I didn't even know what it was. I wanted a large so naturally I thought tall. Good thing that had the tree sized cups displayed on the counter along with what the sizes were for the slow people like me.

I am such an idiot. The hyper starbucks people (I would be hyper too if I was around coffee 8 hours a day) must hate me. Since there was no gibberish translator there, I went up and said "Um, grande coffee please". I thought the starbacks man was going to laugh at me. He probably thought I was a dyslexic lobotomy patient. I tried to get more specific, and together we decided upon a Cinnamon Dolce thing.

I was really good, but I forgot that you are supposed to put your own sugar in it. I realized this when I was already a few miles away. Dammit.

One more thing...

2007-03-21T00:46:28Z

For the American Idol fans....

Blake is awesome. I really like him. But what I thought was the funniest thing was Paula's face while he was singing. She was looking at him as if she was trying to contemplate how many gulps it would take for her to inhale his load of seamen.

Gym bitching

2007-03-12T23:39:23Z

Top things that annoy me at the gym

1. Watching girls bitch and moan that they are not getting any results when they aren't even trying. I see so many people come in for a good 20 minutes and go so slow on the elliptical that they dont even need to use the hand things for support. During that time they are working out there mouths by running it more then their body. Then if they feel REALLY PUMPED they sit on the ball in crunches position and watch Oprah. You just want to socialize? Fine. But please dont cry to me when you are still jiggling 6 months later.

2. Your flatulence problems need to stay out of the gym. I understand that people have gas and it doesnt bother me or gross me out at all. But it does bother me when people let it leak faster then Bush's action plan to send more troops to Iraq. If you have THAT MUCH gas please go outside and fart away. Its bad enough that I smell everyones body odor, but the extreme shit smell on top of it is just plain gross. You have the personality of a damp sponge and the appeal of a moldy sweat sock. Please, go outside.

3. Shut up. You can talk all you want, but please not to me. I wear my ipod for a reason. I let upbeat music blast because it keeps me going. When you want to ask me something stupid such as "Do you smoke cigarettes" (yes I got that one today) I have to use energy to pause everything to listen and to answer you. I cant hold a conversation and run and the same time so please take the hint when I am wearing headphones. If you must feel the desire to hold a conversation PLEASE do not talk business with me. I honestly dont care about your formulations or your new illegal sunscreen ingredient while I am actually at work, and I really don't care about it now.

4. I think it is rude when someone marches up to you while you are watching something on the TV and changes the channel. It happens all the time. I really wasn't paying attention to the TV but I still was starring at it (probably thinking about cheetos or coffee cake). It would really be nice if you simply ask "Do you mind if I change the channel"? It happened last week. This gas filled bitch marches up to the TV and changes it. I said "thats okay, I am not watching it" before I even realized that she wasn't going to ask. It might have came out rude but I didnt care. Neither did she because she said she was going to change it anyway because she doesn't like the news. Then I watched her stand on the elliptical watching some show for a good 15 minutes before she was "tired and had to go".

Oh, and fuck you ITUNES. I developed this strong yet embarrassing random desire to watch "The Hills". They charge $1.99 an episode that lasts about 25 minutes. Meanwhile an hour long show costs $1.99 as well. Thank you for ripping me off so I could feed into my teenybopper love.

Loved or love.

2007-02-28T00:45:28Z

I never could grasp how quickly and automatically people put their feelings in the past tense when someone passes away. I'm not sure if it is how the English language works, or if it is the way we are trained to think.

I see so frequently on TV shows or on the news when a person learns about a death and cries out, "I loved her". I am aware that you did, but why not now? Why can't you still say that you do love her?

Just because a person passes on, it doesn't mean the feelings that you feel about them dissipate along their body. The love that you felt then, is still the love you feel now. It is that love that you still have for that very moment and every other given moment is what keeps them alive in memory.

Which remains part of you forever.

In case if you can't tell from that picture, and are in the mood to be grossed out, I have a pimple on the very top/inside of my upper lip. Its hard to talk or eat. It wont pop either. I really want someone to jam it with a needle, kthnx.

boxsofrain @ 2007-02-27T09:57:00

2007-02-27T14:57:26Z

I feel better today. I think I can update again later. :)

Cat crap coffee

2007-02-12T02:42:27Z

Good morning, would you like some cat shit in your coffee today? Well if you have a good $300-$600 it can be all yours, you just have to brew it. If you are a babe on a budget, (yes I am aware that I totally ripped that line from cosmo magazine) for $50 you can have a nice fresh cup of it in an upscale restaurant. No, I am not kidding. I heard about this on z-100 and had to goggle it.

This coffee is known as Kopi Luwak. The coffee beans are fed to a large type of cat. It runs through their digestive track. The beans only are partially digested and then removed from their feces. The beans are allegedly washed before they are placed for sale. The coffee is supposed to be very strong, and once coffee is passed through the digestive track, the chemical composition changes. Digestion breaks proteins in the coffee beans which causes the coffee to taste bitter. Since the proteins are broken down, the coffee wont taste bitter at all.

Honestly, I don't want my coffee bitter so I dump sugar into it thank you very much. Even though sugar isn't healthy, I would much prefer that to my coffee beans being removed from cat shit.

I'll put the picture of it behind a cut because it is gross.

I do love cats, but not enough to drink anything that touched their excretions.