We have loved the stars too fondly to be fearful of the night. - DOCTORS TIME!

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May 11th, 2007

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06:46 pm - DOCTORS TIME!
OMG I AM A DOCTOR.

Comment w/ all your medical problems and I will give you advice 4 free!!@2

Post anonymously if you don't want anyone to know who you are. lolz Tell me secrets, trust me im at docotr@!@


Read set GOOOOOOOOOO




IF YOU WANT TO ANSWER PEOPLES QUESTIONS PLEASE POST YOUR CREDENTIALS!!! TOO MANY FAKES










This post is for entertainment purposes only. I am not really a doctor. If you have a real medical question please don't post here.

(Where I end and you begin)

Comments:

From:(Anonymous)
Date:May 11th, 2007 10:51 pm (UTC)
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I have something that looks like a mushroom growing on my penis. plz advise.
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From:[info]boxsofrain
Date:May 11th, 2007 10:53 pm (UTC)
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Okay here if what you need totoally OTC:

1. Roll of scotch tape
2. A bottle of clorax bleach


Put tape on the hole of your penis so it doesnt burn. Fuck the bottle. Your problem should be cleared up ASAP1
From:(Anonymous)
Date:May 11th, 2007 10:55 pm (UTC)
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oh hay i have snots
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From:[info]boxsofrain
Date:May 14th, 2007 12:56 am (UTC)
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blow your nose asshole
From:(Anonymous)
Date:May 11th, 2007 10:59 pm (UTC)
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It burns when I pee. Help please, kthankbye.
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From:[info]boxsofrain
Date:May 11th, 2007 11:02 pm (UTC)
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omg you whore clean that shit up with some windex

why u be anonymous?
(no subject) - (Anonymous) Expand
From:(Anonymous)
Date:May 11th, 2007 11:02 pm (UTC)
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I am one sweaty motherfucker. Do you have drugs that will make me less of a sweaty motherfucker?
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From:[info]boxsofrain
Date:May 11th, 2007 11:26 pm (UTC)
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Take a shower you skanky hoe.

From:(Anonymous)
Date:May 11th, 2007 11:04 pm (UTC)
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I have da' herpes. Condoms suck, so maybe I will ask my bitch if maybe she wants to have da' herpes with me. Advice?
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From:[info]boxsofrain
Date:May 11th, 2007 11:08 pm (UTC)
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Dude. Give her herpes. When you bang they will rub together for an ultra sensation!! But make sure you tell her first that you are innoculating her.
From:(Anonymous)
Date:May 11th, 2007 11:05 pm (UTC)
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What is the best cure for nasty fungus crotch?
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From:[info]boxsofrain
Date:May 11th, 2007 11:34 pm (UTC)
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Douche. It is good for you!!
From:(Anonymous)
Date:May 11th, 2007 11:07 pm (UTC)
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OMG, I haven't had my period in 6 months and I'm getting so big and sometimes my belly hiccups. What should i do!?!??
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From:[info]boxsofrain
Date:May 12th, 2007 12:10 am (UTC)
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You ate too much cake.
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From:[info]boxsofrain
Date:May 11th, 2007 11:07 pm (UTC)
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OMG people. Can anyone not post anonymously? I am a doctor.
From:(Anonymous)
Date:May 11th, 2007 11:15 pm (UTC)
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I have gonnoherpasyphalaids. Is it fatal?
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From:[info]boxsofrain
Date:May 12th, 2007 12:09 am (UTC)
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No. plz empty your bladder. duh
From:(Anonymous)
Date:May 11th, 2007 11:17 pm (UTC)
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I have a rash. A bad one. Down there. Help?
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From:[info]boxsofrain
Date:May 14th, 2007 12:57 am (UTC)
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Squirt some oil and vinegar salad dressing in there for 10 seconds. I prefer shop-rite brand Italian dressing.
From:(Anonymous)
Date:May 11th, 2007 11:18 pm (UTC)

Oh, so you wanna play doctor?

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I can't get it up. I think I need some "special" attention. Yeah baby.
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From:[info]boxsofrain
Date:May 11th, 2007 11:37 pm (UTC)

Re: Oh, so you wanna play doctor?

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From:[info]clairespawprint
Date:May 11th, 2007 11:22 pm (UTC)
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I was with my BF the other night and I decided it was time to give him my v-card. But it huuuuurt so bad. What am I doing wrong??!!!
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From:[info]boxsofrain
Date:May 11th, 2007 11:58 pm (UTC)
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Please say that you are married!
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From:[info]clairespawprint
Date:May 11th, 2007 11:23 pm (UTC)
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Doctor, I have this invisible splinter in my arm. I'm scared it will get into my bloodstream and kill me. Help!
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From:[info]clairespawprint
Date:May 11th, 2007 11:24 pm (UTC)
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Doctor, my tummy seems bigger today. My period is an hour late. What are the chances I could be pregnant? I had sex one time a couple months ago, and we forgot to use a condom. Help me, I'm so scared!
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From:[info]boxsofrain
Date:May 11th, 2007 11:33 pm (UTC)

MD

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You are so pregnant. Trust me, I worked in the ICU for years.
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From:[info]lifeinamarble
Date:May 11th, 2007 11:25 pm (UTC)
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I can't stop masturbating over the thought of you. Plz prescribe pics?!
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From:[info]boxsofrain
Date:May 11th, 2007 11:37 pm (UTC)
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Plz wine and dine me first.
(no subject) - (Anonymous) Expand
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From:[info]brapolitics
Date:May 11th, 2007 11:53 pm (UTC)
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My farts smell really bad, and I think it's because I ate asparagus two days ago. How shall I smell like roses again?
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From:[info]boxsofrain
Date:May 12th, 2007 12:07 am (UTC)
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Okay, it seems like you have a problem. You need to change your diet patterns ASAP. We need to detox you. Lets empty your toxins out of your bloodsteam by synthesizing gases in your intestines than only have one way out. Each fried shrimp, onion rings, bran muffins and three helpings of baked means for like an hour straight. Within 24 hours the asparagus will have left your system.

From:(Anonymous)
Date:May 11th, 2007 11:57 pm (UTC)
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Dear Dr. Ashlee,

The other day, while giving myself a rectal exam, I noticed I had some ass blood leaking from my, well, from my ass. I googled "ass blood", but that was pretty darn useless. Now, this wasn't a lot of ass blood, but any amount of that shit can't be good. So, Doc, what do you think I should do?

Sincerely,
A Not So Happy Anal Leaker
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From:[info]boxsofrain
Date:May 12th, 2007 12:00 am (UTC)
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(no subject) - (Anonymous) Expand
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From:[info]xliveandletdiex
Date:May 12th, 2007 12:04 am (UTC)
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I am trying to think of something funny :(
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From:[info]boxsofrain
Date:May 12th, 2007 12:08 am (UTC)
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Its okay, you can be my RN if you want. Answer questions but please post your credentials.
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From:[info]kabandra
Date:May 12th, 2007 12:39 am (UTC)
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I itch all over. Will my skin ever entirely fall off? What do I do if my skin turns itself inside out and all my organs are exposed!! HeeelP!
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From:[info]boxsofrain
Date:May 14th, 2007 12:55 am (UTC)
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Your skin will fall off in the matter of like 6 days. Please empty 10 packets of brown sugar and spice flavored oatmeal into a cold bath. Sit in there for two hours. If your organs show, you will contaminate them and get infected with the black death.

Please dont use apple and cinnamon oatmeal, I heard that doesnt work.
From:(Anonymous)
Date:May 12th, 2007 12:52 am (UTC)

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I can't stop smoking pot and having sex with both male and females. This is one of the leading problems in my relationship with my boyfriend. I just dont see his point of view. I only caught something once. What's his problem? Am I in the wrong?
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From:[info]kiss_the_girl
Date:May 14th, 2007 01:37 am (UTC)
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your posts normally make my day. this is pretty much hilarious.

oh and that icon gets me everytime. :]
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From:[info]boxsofrain
Date:May 15th, 2007 12:21 pm (UTC)
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Thank you!! That comment made me so happy knowing I could make someones day. =)

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