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[1-1-09 at 8pm] |
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Friends only.
Comment to be added.
Disclaimer: I am halfway interesting. I am however, opinionated, picky, and will not sugarcoat anything here. If you can’t take it then leave. If you kiss my ass are a halfway decent person with a good head on your shoulders, we will get along just fine. If you do have something offensive to say, please use proper syntax, form, and grammar so I can at least understand what the fuck you're saying before I dismiss it.
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| GROSS. |
[3-18-08 at 7pm] |
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Eat At Your Own Risk
By Mens'Health
Sure, a turkey burger sounds healthy. But is it, really? Not if you order the Bella from Ruby Tuesday, which packs a whopping 1,145 calories. (And yes, that's before a side of fries.)
To further enlighten you on the prevalence of preposterous portions, we spent months analyzing menus, nutrition labels, and ingredient lists to identify the food industry's worst offenders. Our primary criterion? Sheer caloric impact. After all, it's the top cause of weight gain and the health problems that accompany it. (As you read, keep in mind that 2,500 calories a day is a reasonable intake for the average guy.) We also factored in other key nutritional data, such as excessive carbohydrates and fat, added sugars, trans fats, and sodium. The result is our first annual list of the worst foods in America.
Image credit: Getty Images
Your dinner can have more fat present in Mary Kate and Ashey Olsen's bodies combined!!
( 203 grams of fat, in just your appetizer? )
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| Anonymous |
[2-17-08 at 2pm] |
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It is a boring Sunday.
Tell me a secret about anything. Make a confession. Ask an opinion.
Comment anonymously. IP logging is off.
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| Dachshund day |
[1-20-08 at 5pm] |
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I got together today with a few of the girls who all had dachshunds. The dogs had a ball.
Sherlock was not impressed with his angel wings.
Meet Woogie, Fritize and Tucker. For anyone new, Sherlock is mine, he is the one of the white polka dots.
( Tons of Hot-Dogs. Image heavy. )
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| The WORST smells ever |
[11-23-07 at 11am] |
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The WORST smells ever
I was blessed with a very strong sense of smell. Behind the cut are smells that make me want to puke.
( In my opinion of course )
Free free to add to the list! I am very curious.
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| More of the Eiffel tower business |
[11-13-07 at 6pm] |
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In my last entry I mentioned the "Eiffel tower". No, I was not referring to the iron tower built on the Champ de Mars beside the River Seine in Paris. I am talking about the sex phrase.
Some people asked, what is the Eiffel tower? I played around on Urban Dictionary being the good LJ friend that I am (haha) and found lots of funny stuff.
Lets play a game! How many of these terms can you define? MUHAHAHA
Eiffel tower
Golden Gate Bridge
Angry dragon
Blumpkin
Strawberry Shortcake
Tony Danza
Alligator Fuckhouse
Hot Lips Houlahan
Microwave a Melon
Rusty trombone
Abe Lincoln
Angry pirate
Dirty Sanchez
Birmingham booty call
Alaskan snow dragon
Child seat
Ride the Bull
Pink sock
( Definitions behind the cut. Not for the faint of heart or weak stomachs. If you read this at work, please don't blame me if you get fired, thanks. )
Feel free to name some more if you know any! :)
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| PSA |
[11-8-07 at 10pm] |
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Public Service Announcement to Women: Leggings should not be substituted for pants. If you choose to wear leggings, please wear a top that is slightly longer then usual. I am sure you have very nice genitals, however I do not feel like looking at the shape of them all day.
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| Annoying people. |
[8-7-07 at 7pm] |
People who annoy me.
1. People who can not pronounce their "L's properly. You could have the biggest lisp in the world. You could sound like Cindy Brady on helium. I will probably think it is cute. But if you pronnounce your "L's funny I will want to cover my ears and run away.
2. People who put on so much cheap and smelly sunless tanner. Yes you look great, but you fucking stink. Please switch brands ASAP to something that masks the awful smell of dihydroxyacetone.
3. Girls who constantly use the word "need" for things they really don't need. "Such as OMG I need a pair Jimmy Choos!" Or can someone please upload this CD for me I need it so bad!" No, you need water. You don't need Jimmy Choos.
4. Anyone who eats peanut butter, then get really close to me and talk.
5. When someone does not know me at ALL and comes up to me and asks me why I look so nervous. I get that a lot.
6. The lady who wore tight white spandex and scratched her ass in front of me on line. Lets just say she doesn't have good hygiene.
7. Courtney Love. She got to fuck Billy Corgan multiple times.
8. The hisidic jew in front of me who not only stole 10 pairs of scissors and 10 glue stinks on the self checkout line, but stole my pizza bagels from my cart. Whore.
9. People who are so religious that they make me feel uncomfortable. You know, the ones who lecture me on how everything I do is wrong but Jesus can save me. Those who flat out tell me that all Jews will go to hell because they don't accept Jesus as their savior. Those who sing gospel songs all day, flaunt their virginity, and live by the motto "It's good to share when God does good in everyday life".
10. Those who are not kind to animals.
What kinds of people annoy you?
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| Fears. |
[6-15-07 at 9pm] |
I have two very weird fears.
1. I am afraid to drink water in an open glass. I am paranoid that dust will gather at the top and I will drink the dust.
2. I am afraid of ticking clocks. I didn't realize this until yesterday. I went to the Woodbury Commons with friends and we went into the Seiko outlit. The thought of being surrounded by ticking clocks nearly gave me a stoke.
What are some of your weird and un-logical fears?
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| Yuck food. |
[5-15-07 at 9pm] |
I cant eat the following or else I will puke:
1. Melons (nor anything within 1 foot of a melon)
2. Sweet potatoes
3. Eggplant
4. Swiss cheese
5. Olives
Whar food makes you sick? Give me something good, something that people think you are crazy for not liking.
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| DOCTORS TIME! |
[5-11-07 at 6pm] |
OMG I AM A DOCTOR.
Comment w/ all your medical problems and I will give you advice 4 free!!@2
Post anonymously if you don't want anyone to know who you are. lolz Tell me secrets, trust me im at docotr@!@
Read set GOOOOOOOOOO
IF YOU WANT TO ANSWER PEOPLES QUESTIONS PLEASE POST YOUR CREDENTIALS!!! TOO MANY FAKES
This post is for entertainment purposes only. I am not really a doctor. If you have a real medical question please don't post here.
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| The catskills. |
[5-5-07 at 8pm] |
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I went to a Cinco de Mayo BBQ at my friend Dani's house. I pretty much ignored my diet because I ate a cheesburger and brownies. But I have been having a brownie fetish for the past week so of course I had to On the way home I felt like taking some pictures of the catskill mountains I live in.
( Read more... )
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| Eyebrow sperm. |
[4-17-07 at 9pm] |
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I am not referring to anyone on my friends list.
But it really bothers me when people pluck their eyebrows in the shape of a sperm. Part of me can't get the sperm thought out of my head when I see it, and the other part of me wants to say "Excuse me, but you missed a patch".
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| Starbucks |
[4-7-07 at 7pm] |
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Happy belated birthday to my brother ![[info]](http://p-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) phetuspolice
I really suck at coffee and realized today that a lot that comes out of my mouth is a cacophonous verbal depravity.
The only thing I really know about coffee is that if I don't drink any I get a headache. I also don't put milk in it, I think that is gross. I spent the day in NJ today, and on the way home I realize that I was in some desperate need for caffeine, quick. Right after I realized that I saw a starbucks.
Today I learned that I am a bad person because I don't know what a macchiato, dolce, venti, chai, americano or a latte is. I usually get my coffee for free at a "coffee bar" at work. That consists of super cheap coffee that comes out of pipes like water from a water fountain.
The menu was printed in foreign coffee language. I wanted to take a risk and order an "Ethiopia Sidamo" But then I realized I was taking a chance by parting with more money then I wanted to, for something I didn't even know what it was. I wanted a large so naturally I thought tall. Good thing that had the tree sized cups displayed on the counter along with what the sizes were for the slow people like me.
I am such an idiot. The hyper starbucks people (I would be hyper too if I was around coffee 8 hours a day) must hate me. Since there was no gibberish translator there, I went up and said "Um, grande coffee please". I thought the starbacks man was going to laugh at me. He probably thought I was a dyslexic lobotomy patient. I tried to get more specific, and together we decided upon a Cinnamon Dolce thing.
I was really good, but I forgot that you are supposed to put your own sugar in it. I realized this when I was already a few miles away. Dammit.
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| One more thing... |
[3-20-07 at 8pm] |
For the American Idol fans....
Blake is awesome. I really like him. But what I thought was the funniest thing was Paula's face while he was singing. She was looking at him as if she was trying to contemplate how many gulps it would take for her to inhale his load of seamen.
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